Blog: 
Dec
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Bozos and Googlers
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Dr. Scott Haig tells the story of
an annoying, know-it-all patient
in his column in Time magazine. She surfs the web to confirm his credentials during their initial phone call,
and arrives in his office brimming with theories about her condition. The only problem is that almost all
of her knowledge is junk. The good doctor can barely squeeze in a response to quell the flow of misinformation.
It's tough to counter a Google-infused zealot.
Used for examining sick patients, or strangling annoying ones.
Haig wisely notes that good filtering is key to good doctoring. "There's so much information (as well as misinformation)"
he writes, "...that one major responsibility of an expert is to know what to ignore." He has spent a lifetime studying
medicine, under the tutelage of countless others who have in turn spent their lifetimes studying medicine, at
massive, learned institutions dedicated solely to the study of medicine. The middle-aged woman demanding his
treatment, however, boasts every pathetic hallmark of the false expertise garnered from a marathon session on the
search engines. She rattled off quack theories and mystical explanations, sputtered out mispronounced words,
awful malapropisms and generally dominated
the conversation. In trying to sound like she knew everything, the patient demonstrated she actually knew nearly
nothing. Real experts filter.
The Obstreperous Client
Whenever someone pops in for a consultation, a wonderful indicator of your future relationship is how they
talk about possible solutions to their problem. Some people already have an implementation plan in their head but
lack the time or energy to conduct the work themselves. Others are looking for fresh ideas or just want you to confirm
their own. Dr. Haig describes experiencing a wide continuum in his own practice, from the disaffected to the belligerent. Here's
what he has to say about the boring end of the spectrum:
Some patients are non-compliant Bozos who won't read anything longer than a headline. They don't want to know what's
wrong with them, they don't know what medicines they're taking, they don't even seem to care what kind of
operation you're planning to do on them. "Just get me better, doc," is all they say.
The orthopedist does not indicate who he dislikes more, Bozos or Googlers, but his favorite response is not one you learn
in medical school. When presented with such extremes, Dr. Scott Haig punts. He refers the client to another doctor,
possibly one with more patience or at least one hungrier for additional clientele. These two extreme patient types get sick just
as often as everyone else and generally pay their bills on time, but just aren't worth the effort for a busy
specialist. Experts cannot often afford to help those with no interest in the solution or inadequate respect for the field.
The Best Clients
If bozos and googlers are the worst nightmare of every consultant, who are the dream clients? For Dr. Scott Haig,
the best patients are nurses and engineers. Other medical professionals bring legitimate background knowledge and
seasoned humility. They certainly know enough to ascertain that the doctor is the expert in his domain, and
extend trust instead of skepticism. Likewise, engineers are fascinated by function and modeling. They want to
understand how the doctor thinks about the problem and how the proposed solution works.
Although my own consulting practice focuses on usability, process and software development rather than knee surgery,
I encounter my share of bozos and googlers. People are constantly finding half-baked "examples" of existing work via
Google which lets them rationalize devaluing my expertise. Similarly, many clients claim to be "business types" who
just need a geek that they can direct and have no interest or expectation that they can understand anything technical.
These clients are trouble, and I routinely turn away their business.
The best clients are those with a genuine interest in the nature of good solutions. Organizations and individuals
willing to question their own assumptions and willing to walk through technical explanations hold significant promise
to become good partners. Great clients do not sign and walk away or lecture from a position of ignorance. Great clients
care enough about their own needs to seek out experts and genuinely learn from the experience.
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